arhyalon (arhyalon) wrote,

Boys and Girls Forever

A reader of the last post wrote: I use to work in a church creche with 3-4 year olds. There were no swords or guns allowed but the boys just made them out of leggo anyway. I think that if you leave kids alone most girls will chose dolls and boys trains. If they choose non stereotypical toys it shouldn't be a big deal.

So true. So like life!

I have met so many young women with sons who have said to me: "I used to think men and women were the same...until I had a son. Right from the start, he only wanted to play with trucks and monsters." 

Girls seem to be different. There's less of this shock to the mother. Some are really girly from the start, but many are not. Some are very tomboyish right off.

If my sons had a tea set (which they would be welcome to, if they asked for one) they would turn the cups upside down on the plates, pretend they were flying saucers, and shoot each other with them.

They loved the MacDonald's Polly Pockets, because the clothes came apart and snapped together. It was like girl toys for boys.

But in my previous post, I was not talking about toys. We know a boy who loves fairies and another one who loves pretending to be a girl and plaing with Ariel the Mermaid. Nobody cares. (Well, sometimes the parents cring a little, but really, they don't care.)

But that is very different than whether or not you should teach your son to "be a man." Our Taekwando teacher tells our crybaby son "men don't cry." It really woke me up. I began to wonder why I was allowing him to act this way. While I think real men do cry occasionally...a man who cries a lot is going to have a hard time in life.

Maybe someone really does need to tell boys these things: don't cry in public, don't hit women, treat girls well.

They don't pick these things up by nature...maybe we should be teaching this stuff!
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